A Few Parting Shots from a Dying Town

While I was in Marshall, Oklahoma, I decided to take a walk "around town" to see what I could see. I was in a melancholy mood, it being the day after Grandpa's funeral, and the condition of the town didn't help. It occurred to me that my Grandpa's life was pretty closely related to the life of Marshall, where he lived his entire life except for the time he spent on a Navy ship during WWII. As I was blown up and down the empty roads by a strong Spring wind, I thought of Don Huffer's life - a farmer, a sailor, a husband, a father, grandfather, great-grandfather, a church-goer, Republican, traveler, a man who worked hard, made big plans, and loved life. This town, established around 1890 and barely hanging on to life through the post-office, co-op store and one last church, was only a little over 30 years older than he. How must he have felt seeing it pass away in front of him?

These photos are a few from my bittersweet tour of Marshall last month. I'm still clinging to my roots buried deep in the red, red soil of northern Oklahoma.

The family church - weddings, funerals, confirmations, and Christmas pageants.

Marshall school - est. 1904, closed 1988

The old fire truck, used for the parade on Prairie City Days. (They do have a modern one.)

One of the empty Co-op grain elevators, the train doesn't come through here any more.

Part of Main Street - plate glass of the bar broken out, small grocery closed for good.

Destruction and Life.

Empty playground.

Among the broken, dead brambles - LIFE and COLOR - roses

Little red wagon along the backyard I used to play in - it was my great-grandmother's house once.

Irises my Grandpa planted along the back of his workshop.

Scrap metal wheels

 

Town billboard in the middle of the wide Main Street, news: Huffer funeral.

 

I found an entry for this little town on Wikipedia, obviously written by someone who lives, or grew up, there. The part that spoke to me said, "Back in the town's prime between 1900 and 1980 it had two gas stations, a hotel, 5-dime store, drug store, cafe, bar, grocery store, laundromat, hardware store, lawyer office, bank, doctor office, blacksmith, barber shop, beauty shop, fire station, arcade, movie theatre, two car dealers and farmers' co-op. Today all that is left is the co-op and post office. Where main street was once lined with cars on Saturdays is now pretty much a ghost town. Most of the buildings downtown are, or have, fallen down or empty. During the 1980s the oil bust happened and the town hasn't been the same ever since."


To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven: A time to be born, And a time to die;
      A time to plant, And a time to pluck what is planted; 

A time to kill, And a time to heal;
      A time to break down, And a time to build up; 

A time to weep, And a time to laugh;
      A time to mourn, And a time to dance; 

A time to cast away stones, And a time to gather stones;
      A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing; 

A time to gain, And a time to lose;
      A time to keep, And a time to throw away; 

A time to tear, And a time to sew;
      A time to keep silence, And a time to speak; 

A time to love, And a time to hate;  A time of war, And a time of peace.  —Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Hats & Boots to Fill

While in Oklahoma for my Grandpa's funeral, I was party to some pretty interesting post-death goings-on. There were typical moments of ordering flowers, picking out pictures from a long life to share with fellow mourners in celebration of our loved one, lots of eating of funeral food. (Praise God for wonderful women -and a few men- who cook for comfort.) We wrote MANY thank-you notes.

Then, there were the not-so-typical times.
My aunts and mom were intent on DOING CONSTRUCTIVE THINGS. They worked on the yard, emptying long-ignored flower pots to take some home to use (a little piece of Dad's garden.) They all went together to the nursing home to remove Grandpa's clothes and hygiene items. They divided the MANY gifts of plants sent for the funeral - I only escaped bringing one home because I was flying. The strangest moment for me was when they lined up all of grandpa's shoes and boots to see if any of us could use them or wanted them. Grandpa had smallish feet lengthwise, but very wide. I ended up taking 2 pairs home for my boys. I thought they could use them for a year or two when they visit Uncle Rodney's farm, then maybe I can use a pair for a cool planter.

Just a few of Grandpa's hats. (Uncle Rodney in background.)

My cousin Kevin with his choice of hat.

My cousin Chris with his "new" hat. He's the oldest grandchild.

An awe-inspiring moment was when they brought out all of Grandpa's hats. Stacks of them. Lines of them. Straw cowboy hats, leather ones, wool fedoras, canvas sun-hats, a wooly sheepskin winter hat. Each of Grandpa's children AND grandchildren got to pick a hat. I carried mine home. I put it on while waiting in a Southwest Airlines boarding line at the request of the gentleman in front of me. Trying to tell the story, I got a little teary and couldn't talk. I tucked it safely on top of my carry-on bag under the seat in front of me.

Most of us (3 cousins had already left) with our hats. I'm in the center.

These are big shoes & big hats to fill. I miss you, Grandpa!

A Time to Mourn...

Just got the news this morning that my Grandpa, Howard Don Huffer, passed away early today. I haven't been on here, haven't blogged at all since my trip to the midwest 2 weeks ago. It was great to see my dad - who is healing wonderfully - and connect with my family again. I got to spend some good quality time with my nieces and even a day in Lincoln to see my in-laws. The trip to Oklahoma over that weekend was another thing. While it was a blessing to be able to celebrate my Gram's birthday with her and extended family (some of whom I hadn't seen in years), it was a shock to see my Grandpa. The alzheimers and cancer had eroded his mind and body. He was not in good shape all around, but I was so grateful to see him again. I have been having a hard time processing all of this and I'm hoping this second trip to the funeral, to be with family, to examine my own heart and life from a bit of a distance from the norm will help. Please pray for comfort and God-encounters. Thank you...

A Time to Weep

I happened to call my parents this evening about 15 minutes before they hit the road to drive from Iowa to Oklahoma. My grandpa, Don, is in the hospital with clots in his legs and lungs. They're running tests, but believe this is the result of some form of cancer. They're recommending hospice care.
He's 90-years-old and his health, mentally and physically, has been declining steadily over the past few years. This year, however, has been the most dramatic. I was fortunate to be able to visit last July and, although he was obviously confused and slept a lot more, Grandpa was up playing cards, escorting my Gram to the senior center for lunch, dabbling in the yard, and walking to the post office for mail. When my mom went down last week for her spring break, he was so weak that he had to lean on her when she took him into the yard. He had little interest in things and couldn't tell the difference between the suits when they played cards. She had gone down, not only for a visit, but for a serious meeting with her brother and sisters about getting her parents into an assisted living facility with security in case Grandpa went wandering. It's a difficult transition that has been the subject of discussion for the past few years between "the kids." By the end of the week, no move had been made, and now this – just 4 days later.
I am praying peace over Grandpa. I'm praying peace and strength over Gram, Momma, Uncle Rodney, Aunt Carol, and Aunt Susan. Please join me with your prayers.

Grandpa Don Huffer – July 4, 2010

"To everything there is a season. A time for everything under heaven... A time to weep, and a time to laugh; A time to mourn, and a time to dance." Ecclesiastes 3:1,4 

A Few Pictures from Summertime, Small Town Oklahoma

Last summer we had the amazing good fortune to visit my grandparents in Oklahoma. My mom's parents, my Gram and Grandpa, live in a tiny prairie town: Marshall. All the former businesses are shut down and abandoned. My aunt and uncle's farm is on the outer edge of town, that's where my grandparents raised their children and ran a dairy farm. We celebrated the 4th of July in the pasture with extended family. I seized the opportunity to photograph my grandparents (both around 90 years old) and the aunts, uncles, cousins, second cousins, etc. that we rarely get to see anymore. Who knew that moving to Florida (5 years ago) was like moving to another country? I hope you enjoy the fresh simple beauty of this corner of my heart.

Sophia (my niece), Luca, and Carlo running down the middle of Main Street.

Luca and Sophia visiting the horse and pony living in the middle of town.

Sophia & Carlo having fun at the park with playground equipment from the 60s.

Red dirt path between Main Street buildings and the park.

Sabina and puppy from my childhood "leaving town" to walk the 2 blocks to my grandparents'.

My Grandpa, Don Huffer

My sister, Holly, picking mulberries in our grandparents' backyard

My Grandpa still loves to tinker around outside

My Gram, Evadean Huffer with the newest Great-Grandbaby

Great-Uncle J.C. is the only man I know with a handlebar mustache!

Luca, Carlo, and Rocky at the farm pond getting ready for fireworks!

Beautiful sunset clouds behind farm pond.

Their own fireworks -BOOM!- of dry grass.

Sophia enjoying the countryside.

Fun with Fireworks! Ah, the freedom of living in the country!

Sabina tuckered out at the end of the night; mosquito bites and all, isn't she an angel?

Baby Picture Sunday- BOOM!

4th of July, this year, the 2-year-old Sabina and her same-age 2nd cousin making their own fireworks. I guess that dry pasture grass is just as good as the roman candles when you're a toddler. They did it over and over, with appropriate sound effects. BOOM!
(And, dontcha just love the red dirt stained jeans and strawberry pop mustaches? Too precious.)